This is an Odd LIfe I Live

My life is weird to say the least. All my life really odd things happen to me. What could you mean Ashley? Well, let me help you understand why I say my life is weird and we will see if you agree.

When I was in the second grade I took a bet to eat a stick of chap stick for five bucks. Well, I took it and ate the chap stick and the girl never paid me so I asked for for a few days about getting my money (I say in a gangster voice.) It became apparent that she was not going to pay so I dropped it. A week later this girls 30 year old aunt started to stalk me. I cant really remember how she got the message to me but I was to leave her niece alone. This crazy woman came to school everyday for a week and watched me at recesses and watched me at lunch and followed me home many a day. I eventually told my mom what was going on and the woman eventually stopped but 3 years later I saw her again walking and chased us for at least 4 blocks.

I once had a strange growth in my belly button that turned out to be bubble gum and to this day I couldn't tell you how it got there.

I was asked to be Ariel by Thanksgiving Point

I crashed my car into a pole, an emotional drama queen, and an old man who was really polite and worried about me but ended up suing me.

I went to a dance in high school and had my friends date hit on me the whole night.

I had my boss at sprint turn out to be a drug addict and steal my car.

I once was egged while driving on state street.

I had someone put a hand full of condoms in my purse.

I had someone leave me a gold fish in their drinking glass at work.

I had someone ask me if I have a soul because of my red hair.

I has someone call me a nazi because my last name is German.

I once hung out with the Utah Jazz and didn’t even know it because I didn’t know who any of them were.

I once spent an amazing 2 weeks with a man only to find out after he had left that he was married. I puked..

I get hit on by married men on almost a daily basis.

I shoveled the drive way with my pants hanging down at my knees and didn’t notice till I got inside and caught a glimpse of my self.

I got caught by the police while skinny dipping.

My friend and I got our clothes stolen while skinny dipping and had to get creative in a old wet towel and a trash bag dress and figure out how to get the car door unlocked and get our stuff back.

I’m a virgin but to this day no one from high school believes me.

I don’t chew gum at all and I have stepped in it a millions times which is just rude and not fair.

I got pooped on my by seagulls twice in one day.

I got shot in the face with a paintball on my first date ever.

I pulled out a hang nail and my whole finger swelled up like a balloon.

I popped a zit and it gave me the fattest lip of my life.

I drove my self to get my wisdom teeth out and somehow made it home.

I love sneezing and that it smelled like summer today and I secretly love when my dad calls me little girl and I love my fat cat who is 14 years old and is feisty as ever and yes I love parking lot birds and when your cash register total comes out even it kinda like my birthday...yes these things and so much more makes me happy

Anyway there are much much more awkward, weird, and just uncommon things that have happened to me but thats all I could rattle off for now :D